5 Things that won’t happen in an Obama presidency
Despite what you may have heard on the internet, here are five things that I am positive will not happen should Barack Obama become President of the United States.
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1. Barack Obama will not try to tongue kiss your wife. Or any other white ladies for that matter (ok, maybe ScarJo on the low, low). Hopefully if he kisses anyone it will be his wife and it won’t be as awkward as Al Gore’s kiss with Tipper. |
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| 2. Barack Obama will not be replacing the Secret Service with the FOI.
Seriously folks, it ain’t going to happen, they are not cool like that. Plus, those guys know Karate and that’s cool and all, but they don’t have guns and you know that kung fu shit is not going to fly when ‘BO’ is rolling through Alabama. |
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3. Weed is not going to become legal. Sorry stoners, a Black (ahem, bi-racial) president does not mean it’s all High Times now. You better just move to California, where weed is practically legal. |
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4. Hoards of militant Muslims are not going to take over the White House. On the real, BO’s a Christian so he’s not rolling with “Albert Kada” like that. However, if a Zankou Chicken opens up across the street from the White House you can officially start to get suspicious. |
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5. The Wu-Tang Clan (RIP ODB) will not perform at the Presidential Inauguration. First of all, most of the dudes in the WU have jail records (and/or gats) so there is no way that they could make it past the security checks. Shit, most of them can’t even get in to the Source Awards anymore. |
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